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Ephemeral Delusion

Saturday, June 21, 2008, 10:12 PM

I punched a hole in my ear because I was bored.

Oh yes baby this is what boredom drives people to do, I did another piercing on my upper left ear a few days ago. Actually I wanted to do a navel but it was like $50. Being spendthrift is what a jobless person should do, $5 was so much more justifiable isn't it.

Being depressed as I am (as usual), at least a piece of good news: I was finally offered a room in KE VII. I hate halls, but oh well that beats all the distance and time I have to endure if I were to stay at home. And seriously I'm not the home-ly kind of person anyways. Dont ask me why.

Anyway I think its pretty overrated since I came back; its like hitting town everyday for the past week, and eating too nice-a-food. I'm not spoilt, people ironically chose to spoil me, and KFC is not call spoiling me furrsure baby.

...I seriously should learn to jolt down my thoughts, because my minds a complete blank now. This is so gay. Maybe I'd pop by tomorrow or something. Oh btw I got new heels too, yays.

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008, 12:43 AM

Sick in the head, still sick in the head.

I miss Cambodia, I really do.
I'd put up photos and updates and stuffs asap, as soon as I get all the things in place.

Its probably that 'getting out of reach from everyone (yes everyone i did sieved)' feel that captivates me, or rather was it a rare escape from the mundane responsibilities which are genuinely nerve breaking?

I am only disappointed, on those beautiful starry nights, how do lovers sit by the balcony and swim through the shooting stars; now see the dark yet silent mystery. I should be thinking, should have kept those machines working; yet I slept. For 21 nights my brain went on a vacation, to where to I ask, Morocco.. I dare not suggest?

It is no longer a secret, this undeniable failure of mine to be decisive, yet kudos to the success for being able to conceal yet the unspeakable. Irony isnt it, people may laugh, but when your not in the scenario, you wont be able to understand the unwritten pain in the characters heart. Just like how M lust for her, to be hers. This is pain, sheer fucking pride and foolishness destroys all epiphanies The Greatest may have at all.

I wander around in hunger, not for food nor knowledge. That miraculous little thing can save my life, can destroy lives; yet I yearn for it, dream of it, dying from being deprived from it. Help save a life, I think of ways to save mine.

This is like an itch, the more you scratch, the more swollen and itchy it gets. On a bad day, it may just spread, like an invisible force that is more powerful than any pills at all, it will slowly consume you.

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