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Ephemeral Delusion

Monday, May 25, 2009, 11:52 PM

Yellow Corn Chips

Tyler was nearly the victim of heatstroke today, but that experience was surprisingly mystical. As she raged and charged amidst the blazing ray, it pierced her skin painfully and she loved it. Please don’t say that she is odd, this is what happens when an enclosed bird finally get to take a breather after months of house arrest. She lost track of time and the number of circles she went, her agonizing heart finally decides it is enough- she should stop. Her vision became somewhat mosaic, the field; the grass; the sprinkler; the half naked pale skinned man sitting by the pillar- everything looks disorientated. OK I should really stop this time, so what if people were to laugh at her for listening to her heart.

She staggered towards the steps to cool down, trying to fight out the mirage of ice cold water a yard across the track. She climbed those small yet steep, agonizing stairs up, those straight gravel path stagger with a fascinating tail sideways. That red beating heart of hers, that fleshy veins throbbing meat, struggles to keep up with the pace. Tired it may be, but royal as a general to the emperor. “I shan’t let her down!”

It took her almost eternity to reach the top. She squirm her eyes, trying to shield out the blazing sun. Confused and exhausted, she takes a breath and half a step to the vending machine. That silver metallic can was probably the life saver for her, possibly the one Tyler should worship and adore. That smooth fluid, strong ferocious effervescence bubbles violently in her mouth, waking up every taste bud on her tongue, the tenderising after taste was pure heavens to her. In less that three gulps, Tyler emptied the can. She felt safe now, no matter how near the beckoning God of death is, he won’t get her- at least at the moment. He flashed to her his best smile, but she will not allow herself to fall for it. How many times have she walked into an obvious trap like that before?

In a span, she found herself taking a shortcut through a hospital. The smell of life and death, it is so complex, it is difficult to explain. Tyler was particular intrigued by how the fine a line differentiates them two with such irresponsible ease. Something in front of her caught her eyes, she knew this was it that will make her day:

A heavily pregnant lady stopped beside a makeshift magazine booth and her tired eyes fell onto a stack of posters. What are those posters about again? Some celebrity is it? Or is it a blown up picture of scenery? No, they were baby poster, those with plump beautiful angel pawl over clean white blankets, smiling to the camera, how bewitched that sight is! She picked up the first piece of poster, and instantly a smile rest on her face. She smiled silently to herself, picking up the second poster and the third.

All that pain was worth is, isn’t it so? It is that moment, how we live for that moment in life, it may just be a second of it, but when you think back, all was worth it.

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Friday, May 1, 2009, 12:21 PM

ob·li·ga·tion

Is it a social, moral or personal obligation? It is funny how this always occurs to me that there is this need to satisfy everyone’s request and demands. Perhaps, to an extent that I feel bad, as if I am indebted to- when I let/turn people down. Having personal time to myself is ridiculously impossible; how could that illumining path dulls along the line? Everyone would ask, why would you want to be alone? It is not that constant chattering, constant listening or filling your questions with my politically correct answers that make me happy. Of course there are things to do in private, to think about, to figure out, to plan, to manage, to come to terms with. Either, I could cut my phone; or maybe I should get some help- because I am seriously trying to tone down my aggressiveness.

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