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Ephemeral Delusion

Thursday, December 11, 2008, 12:34 PM

Walk on By

“Some families are born, some families are made.”

I have been playing with the thought of women having babies without getting married for some time, at least not in that “legal” sense. Of course it is possible and perfectly acceptable in today’s society, as long as the mother has that capacity to single-handedly (not quite so?) raise the kid up. As I was having a causal browse in a bookstore a couple days ago I found this short story by a local writer about 2 amah-jies adopting a girl and bringing her up. It was a short yet touching story; be it the moral of the story was the girl regretting how she should had treated both of her aunts better only after they passed away, I was awed in amazement how they made it happen even in the early 1960s. Adopting a child was definitely possible, for the orphanages would be more than happy to embrace any kind souls that decides to give the child a proper home, yet the adoptee was upset, low on self esteem and well, a certain degree of hatred towards her “dysfunction” home. Perhaps as she grows older these questions confused her; isn’t a home supposed to make up of a dad, a mom and a child? Why does she have 2 mothers which she is only allowed to call “ku”?

This kind of family will demand reconsideration of a theory of oedipal development based on heterosexual parents. If triangulation, the move from dyadic to triadic object relationships will depend on 2 primary processes—the child's acceptance of the immutability of generations and the child's recognition that children are excluded from the world of adult matters—parental gender or in some other sense assumes less importance. The emergence of conscience from multifaceted processes of identification is consistent with this view of triangulation as a developmental phase. Perhaps along the time line, education by the parents plays a major role in determining how successful the upbringing will amount to; lest to the public pressure and ignorant question (that of course there is no such thing as a stupid question, just that they are easy to answer), those frustrations hurled towards the family; the neighbours, friends, even random strangers could prove lethal. Those might just be abominably gross and vulgar, yet undeniably inevitable of course.

Perhaps putting a flag outside the house might help?

Now we’re not just considering the fact that our social sigma does condemn a family with 2 mothers, it is really the sad truth single moms too get the stares, yes that stare. It definitely annoys the ass out of me, people that barely knew her; do they even know what she went through? Do they know how her life like was? Easy as it is to label and call people names, this still comes down to their etiquette. This is a personal problem you see. Think about being jeopardized, the humiliations; they out-rule every possible factors that was to begin with. Things that are illegal or maybe never to be made legalised, human rights, freedom of speech, etc; all these will take still take so much effort, more blood being shed, determination and resistance to endure. Thinking on the bright side, Obama becoming the first black president; rising of India and China in the global regime; in China today men are actually willing to marry into the bride’s family and carry their surname; it is just a matter of time where the long protested rights of humans – feminism or in where there had been a seemingly forever struggle and unrest, shall achieve ultimate liberation.

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