Ephemeral Delusion

Tuesday, December 6, 2011, 4:52 PM

Such long hiatus, and nothing to say? This can't be true. I dreamt of these, and it happened. Was it something I subconsciously worked towards, or was it coincidences?

Too much of a coincidences I think.

Call me old fashion, but I will continue to fuel my dreams in silence, so nothing can possibly sabotage it.




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Monday, August 8, 2011, 4:59 AM

Oh highflyer, what you lack now is a mere four wheeled.

And you mustn't fall.




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Friday, June 24, 2011, 6:36 AM

So I watched the sunrise today, it was beautiful. The sky turning from pitch black to solemn blue and finally the very first ray of light beaming through the cracks of the sky into my room.

And so did I had time to catch up on Dexter, even more so to putting more than complex thoughts into my head. Certainly, it could possibly be hard to outsmart me.




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Thursday, June 16, 2011, 5:14 AM

My version of retaliation: being better than anyone could ever imagine me to be.




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Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 4:22 AM

And when it all falls, I can see mountain crying a river of tears. This is when the dream weaver will single handedly shred those connecting treads, strip by strip, into a deluge morbid mess.




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Sunday, June 5, 2011, 3:48 AM

Silence is worth a thousand words when used at appropriate moments, albeit people may mistake it to be being speechless. Or rather the inability to express your current thoughts- may it be sacred or profanity, although people usually assume the latter. I did had the privilege to savor, the exhilarating odd sense of silence; raging hormonal titillating rush that deemed too transcendence for any bodies on Earth in a too short number of days. Anxiety to unconcealable harvest reaping happiness; lust to requited love- fresh yet unorthodoxically cured; and last of all the sad, dilapidated loss of faith- from repeated breaching of trust.

I am glad I have sufficient happy points to balance, or even surpass the grieving account. And soon after I will be up and kicking, like how Gray does it. Simple.




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Friday, May 20, 2011, 5:19 AM

If you are constantly nagged on for certain issues, is it possible that your stand will be swayed? I still insist that I am seeing the world through microscopic lens rather than macro lens- because the laid back person I initially assumed that I am seemed to adopting the type A personality.

Perhaps it is not the best plan to worry the life away, for we can ascertain the fact that failing (or rather incompetence in fulfilling- if the former is too strong a word) expectations when equivalent to disappointment or despair could be hurting; yet watching the clock tick by also made me realise that being negotiably selfish can walk me a longer path.

And time can dilute any hard feelings. Or grieve.




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Thursday, May 5, 2011, 1:05 AM


customized relationships
do you feel the same about
your flirt with love
and your certainty

baffled by relationships
psyched up for the major lift
what you want to say
you’re caught to blame




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Tuesday, May 3, 2011, 2:57 AM

As I've grown older, I have come to discover that life is more complex than face value I have taken conveniently for granted during the course of unfurling out of naivety. As life becomes more complex, I begin to learn how to think in abstract and experience life through layers, rather than skimming the surface per se. To finally understand that life is fluid and not rigidly defined by lines might not be something absolutely new, but tasting it- is novel.

We all love novelty do we not? Thank you jettisoning past illusions, and letting me put those repressed ideas back into the shadows in the attic. Long live the present, and every little detail I don't ever want to be dislodged from.




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Wednesday, April 20, 2011, 1:55 PM

Me: "I want your body, and one's body is the temple of his soul, so I want your soul as well."

Her: "Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I'm yours forever."




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1:24 PM
terrifying but apt

"There’s an unspoken race to end up in the arms of someone who’s willing to love you forever. On your mark, get set…"

-Ryan O'Connell 190411




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Sunday, April 17, 2011, 11:06 PM

To where lies the secret dungeons, akin to inundated imaginary man-dug underground tunnels linking North Korea and China, I want to learn how to make sense of the language of nature.

55% water is what I am made up of. So are you.

I want to be your lover and your fighter. To see your invigorating smile and enviable body, that truly mystifies me beautifully like no other, charm and charisma personified. Obnoxious they say you are; bad tempered they say you are, they will warrant to basically disappointment because I don't care. I wouldn't have bothered spending time if I wasn't serious.

However the only last hurdle lies within me. I wish I could torch the ambivalent half of me: disguising fear, insecurities, sadness with sarcasm. Look through the veil and you will see them all bare. I might need a little patience and guidance from you.




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Saturday, April 2, 2011, 1:27 AM
all these things think link

Haven't put my mind to being so serious about something, ever since the last time I decided to get my act together in school work- which was probably years back.

And it sure feels good to know it is a mutual thing. It takes two hands to clap, isn't it what they always say?

Breath taking beauty and moments, I must write about it before my thoughts get jumbled up in a word salad too hastily. It probably will take off some pressure off my imploding head, come on make some space for more rainbow sprinkles won't you please?

Darling, don't let insecurities eat you alive. Trust is an overused cheesy figure of speech, yet very apt at this juncture: how about a drizzle of faith too?




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Saturday, March 26, 2011, 4:06 PM
Exclusiveness? You've got it.

I had problem understanding the difference between the 2 terms, and no one i asked seemed to be able to give me a proper explanation (or at least one I could comprehend), hence out of frustration I decided to resort to googling it.

And to my surprise, there were as many confused ones out there in the WWW as well. I opened the first hit and took a good 5 minutes reading the article- beautifully written by the way, and like what Alexander Wallace would put it: I reached an epiphany.

It all boils down to the word exclusiveness. And trust me, you've got it nevertheless my adamant reclusiveness towards formality. Formality makes me laugh, just like how I lose it when boys play the guitar and sings for me. It makes me shudder (not the titillating kind unfortunately but more of the creeps), akin to the sound of nails scratching across the chalkboard. I know i sound impossibly incoherent already, but in short I think we ought to flow from phases to phases in life because it just seemed to me as a smoother transition.

Like my favorite analogy of separating an immiscible mixture in a separator funnel, although it is best if we can see the line and effectively close the tap exactly at where the two mixtures meet, but if everything is such clear in reality then where is there room for romance? Such distinctions will only meant that each step and procedure are laid out clean and crisp, allowing no room for imagination or creativity at all. I cannot tolerate a moment in life to be tasked like a robot.

In summary, I love the way boundaries are blurred for me, and my mischievous attempt to rub on it without tearing the paper is simply.. doped. Somehow perhaps I may need to clean up the act and learn how to behave like an adult, albeit the last few seconds I will savor thee.





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Friday, March 18, 2011, 8:51 PM
Sure we are subjected to our opinions, but you can't deny the tenacity of stratification or am I being not as in denial as compared to the public?

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/18/opinion/18fri2.html?

Because frankly speaking, I suppose the UCLA ching chongs should have a fiercer retaliation towards excuses bestowed to such ethic slurs, in contrary to me on the opposite side of the plate.




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Sunday, March 13, 2011, 2:15 AM
Don't Judge!

I was doing some read-ups for my sociology's gender and sexuality chapter, and this particular argument in the book blew me away:

In 1995, Harvard Shakespeare professor Marjorie Garber made the academic case for bisexuality with her Vice Versa: Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life, in which she argued that most people would be bisexual if not for "repression, religion, repugnance, denial, laziness, shyness, lack of opportunity, premature specialization, a failure of imagination, or a life already full to the brim with erotic experiences, albeit with only one person, or only one gender.


Garber. Marjorie B. (2000). Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life. New York: Routledge. p. 249.




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Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 10:28 PM

在这灯光下，你好美呀。




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Thursday, March 3, 2011, 1:49 PM
Brought me to tears reading this

http://af.reuters.com/article/libyaNews/idAFLDE70G18J20110119?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0

"What kind of repression do you imagine it takes for a young man to do this? A man who has to feed his family by buying goods on credit when they fine him ... and take his goods. In Sidi Bouzid, those with no connections and no money for bribes are humiliated and insulted and not allowed to live."




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Thursday, February 24, 2011, 2:16 AM
Stendhal Syndrome


How is it even fair that so many beautiful things can happen at the same time? That Cheshire cat grin of mine is looking to becoming a permanent fixture on my face, that's for sure.




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Monday, February 21, 2011, 2:12 AM

Every new person I meet reminded me of an old friend I (once) had, now how ironic is that? Is this evidence of the tenacity of ghost of the past?




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